The Single Most Important thing to do when your man has left you

By
January 23, 2018

Ok, so I know how hard it is when your man walks out…

You love your man.

He is your world.

You knew there were some problems but you just knew that if you work together, it could turn around.  

But he’s gone…and you’re absolutely heartbroken.

Your world has been absolutely shattered and you have no idea what to do.

How to move forward…

Or How to pick up the pieces again.  

 

The truth is that you’re not alone…

 

I have worked with so many people who have had to go through what you are going through/have gone through and I know how hard it is…

 

But here’s the thing…

 

The emotional state that you are in can be turned around and this is exactly why I wrote this blog.

 

The Elephant in the Room

 

Ok, so I know you have a burning question and it’s this right?

 

How can I get him back?  

 

Now if you’re asking that question, then i’m just going to go ahead and say it…

 

It’s not what you want to focus on right now.  

 

I know the temptation is there but the focus needs to be on one thing and one thing only…

 

You!  

 

That’s right, You!

 

The Real Problem at Hand

 

When most people have to deal with a breakup, the brain naturally goes into survival mode.  

That is – a fight or flight approach. Now that is all good when we confronted with a Sabre Tooth Tiger millions of years ago…

 

But when it comes to resolving a breakup it’s not! Why?

 

You see when we are in survival mode, we make silly decisions.  We end up saying things we shouldn’t have said.  We end up doing things we shouldn’t be doing…

 

And in the long run, we pay the price.


So yes, you probably want him back.  That goes without saying…

 

But the first thing that needs to be taken care of is YOU.


And in particular, your emotional state!

 

Your Emotions Control Everything You Do!

 

Your emotional state is the number one resource you have in your life – plain and simple.  As much as your mind wants to rubbish this idea at this point in time, it really is the most important resource.

 

What this means in the context of what you’re going through right now is this:

 

Start being kinder to yourself.

 

Well, thanks for the breakthrough thought you might say!  Unfortunately, though, this is the truth and it has to be the starting point.  

 

So many times, I see women completely feeding themselves with the most destructive thoughts and emotions they can possibly come up with.

 

“Why do I always do these sorts of things!?!”

“Why does this always happen to me?”

“If only I were prettier then I would have him”

“I’m so stupid!  If only I hadn’t of said all those things, then I wouldn’t be in this position!”

 

And so on…

 

However, to turn this all around, the first decision that needs to be made is that you are going to commit to being kinder to yourself.

 

This means asking yourself “If I was speaking to someone else and they were going through what I was going through, what would I say to them? Would I belittle them?  Would I criticise them and put them down?

 

My guess is probably not…

 

So start with feeding yourself the thoughts that you would pass on to others.  

 

But here’s the key…

 

You can’t just do it here and there and then expect it to impact your emotional state long term.  

 

You have to commit to it…and that requires dedication and discipline.  

 

Then from there, you can then handle the ‘nuts and bolts’ of the relationship/marriage and then decide how to move forward from there.

 

So How Can I Do That?

 

OK, so you have a couple of choices.

 

The first is that I have put together a FREE webinar working on the 3 most important steps that my client Sarah used to transform her relationship.  I’ve always believed that learning from others is the greatest resource we can use to get the results we desire.

You can sign up for this Free Webinar HERE!

 

Secondly, I have a couple of spots opening up for a free consultation with me to determine how to get your man back or how to rekindle the spark in your current relationship/marriage.  These spots do go quickly so CLICK HERE before they run out and you end up on a waitlist!