So it’s time to have a chat with your man…
You sit down and begin to explain to him some of the issues you are having in the relationship.
As you rattle them off you sense he starts to become defensive…
This body language starts to change.
You notice he’s starting to boil inside.
Then he lashes out in a defensive mode.
It hurts because you aren’t feeling understood and are made to feel wrong for thinking what you’re thinking.
It becomes a verbal tennis match and you aren’t getting anywhere.
I assure you, there is a way to get past this struggle with your man.
You know what? You aren’t alone.
It just requires an alternative approach to communicating and this is exactly why I wrote this blog.
To help you create a shift in your relationship by creating a shift within yourself.
Relationships, as Tony Robbins states, are a magnifier of human emotions. When you feel joy normally, in a relationship you experience immense joy.
When you feel sadness and pain normally, in a relationship you feel intense sadness and pain.
Couple this with the fact that our deepest fear in relationships is that we won’t be loved – then whenever we end up in an argument, we find ourselves in a protective mode so that we don’t have to face these fears.
We defend ourselves and we get angry. We fight fire with fire.
Firstly, we need to realise that in any challenging situation, there is an opportunity to learn.
This is absolutely crucial and the more you can regonise that your partner is your greatest teacher, then the greater the chance you have with addressing the challenging conversations in the right emotional state.
Secondly, you need to answer the following question honestly:
Do you want to be right or do you want to be in love?
If you’re answer is that you want to be right, then you are headed for a mediocre relationship. It’s as simple as that.
However, if you are committed to being in love, then keep reading because the following will give you a couple of tools to utilise to help with your situation.
Your first job when communicating with your man is to truly listen and have a heartfelt understanding of his intent. What are his wounds? Why is he on the defensive all the time? Why is he making ‘digs’ at you? How has he been hurt? etc etc
The more you can make that commitment to truly empathising, the more you love and when you love more, you have a far greater chance of having a greater outcome in the conversation.
Why? Because your tone will be softer, your body language will be more positive and rather than trying to be right, you will be asking yourself the question – “How can I love more?”
Remember, “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind”.
You are an expression of love. That is your essential nature so allow that to run the course. Allow that pure essence within you shine on a regular basis and prepare to be amazed at how that love will be reflected back regularly.
If you want to know more about how to do this, The first thing to do is sign up for my FREE webinar working on the 3 most important steps that my client Sarah used to transform her relationship. I’ve always believed that learning from others is the greatest resource we can use to get the results we desire.
You can sign up for this Free Webinar HERE!
Secondly, I have a couple of spots opening up for a free consultation with me to determine how to get your man back or how to rekindle the spark in your current relationship/marriage. These spots do go quickly so CLICK HERE before they run out and you end up on a waitlist!