One of the greatest challenges that an intimate couple face over time is the loss of passion and intimacy. At the very start of a relationship, there are very few things that we wont do for our partners! It just seems almost instinctive for both men and women to go out of their way in service and put a smile on their partners faces. Admittedly some partners are trying to ‘achieve’ something ie getting into a relationship – but I truly believe in my soul that we are creatures of giving and often at the beginning of a relationship, our hearts truly shine in the joy of giving.
However, as time passes, our giving nature subsides quickly and so does the passion. We get lazy. We take our partners for granted. We rest on our laurels and when this happens, we kick off a cycle where we complain about how the passion has subsided but we contribute to the very problem that exists.
So the big question is – How can we change this and reignite the passion in our intimate relationship?
Here are 6 important steps you can take:
- Make a commitment – decide that you will be the one to be the catalyst for change! Don’t wait and hope for your partner to kick things off. You MUST be the one to make a commitment for change.
- Become a detective – discover what the other party needs. So many times, we end up focussing on what we need but we need to remember is that both parties in the relationship have completely different ways in which they like to receive love. Do they love it when you spontaneously do kind things for them. Do they love it when you make an effort to spend quality time with them? Really make a commitment to understand exactly how they like to be cared for, cherished and loved.
- Be prepared for the tests – sometimes when changes are initially made, the other party may not actually believe it’s happening. As a result, they may react negatively towards it or think its just a once off thing. If this happens, keep going! Recognise that it’s your job to love!
- Express your core spirit – whether you’re a man or a woman, make sure you stay centred in the core of who you are. So many times I see men become a fraction of who they are and women become a fraction of who they are because they don’t allow themselves to be who they are at their core. You can still ensure that you play your part in reigniting the passion without having to be a different person. It all fundamentally comes back to point 2 above – discover what the other person needs!
- Test and experiment – Sometimes things will work. Sometimes they wont. But keep moving forward, picking up clues and trying again. Sooner or later, you will figure out and discover ways to light your partner up like a Christmas tree so stay patient with the process. If you follow point one and commit, it will work (on the assumption that this person is the right person for you).
- Serve from a place of love – It’s very easy for you to move forward with the wounds of your past. When we attempt to make conscious change and love our partners, it’s common for our tolerance levels to be low because we are used to certain behaviours in the past. This will simply affect your capacity to truly serve and love and whenever challenges come up, it is common to get frustrated and go back to square one. So find it in your heart to love. Even when you feel angry. Even when it feels impossible. Serve with love and you will know that you are setting the foundations for an extraordinary relationship!
The steps above give you a framework for helping to reignite the passion in your relationship. Like anything in life, if we are able to put the effort in and be selfless in our pursuit, we are creating a passionate, loving and authentic relationship that will last a lifetime.
Now inevitably, when you’re in a relationship with a man, completing the steps above will bring out other challenges – particularly around getting the love and attention you deserve, when you desire it. To get around this, i’ve put together 6 keys steps on how get your man to make you his #1 priority and love you forever. You can grab your copy below!