Are the fights all his fault?

Ok, so I want you to think about the last fight or argument you got into with your man…

 

Whatever the reason for it was, just have a think about it.

 

Maybe you started it or maybe he started it…

 

Either way, just go back to the argument.

 

When he said what he said, how did you feel?

 

What was your instinctive approach?

 

Your Response is totally natural

 

 

Now it’s likely that when he spoke to you, you ended up going on the defensive…

 

Am I right?

 

If you did, then that is totally normal.

 

In fact, I’ve done it a million times myself so I’m not in any way judging you.

 

You see, the reason why we go on the defensive is simple.

 

Our brains are a survival tool.

 

And at the deepest level, we all have a fear that we aren’t enough.

 

So in order to compensate for the fear, what happens?

 

We pick our weapons up and we fight.

 

We defend.

 

Justify…

 

Attack…

 

And do whatever it takes so that we don’t have to look within…

 

But Sri, it really is all his fault!

 

 

Yup I get it.  And you could very well be absolutely right.

 

In fact, with the vast majority of clients that I work with, the male partners act like complete ‘tools’!

 

But here’s the thing…

 

There is always two sides to the story and I can assure you that he will have his own view.

 

Hence, as long as each party clings onto their own perspective, then both of you are simply saying “I’m right, your wrong and I’ll say whatever I have to prove to you that I’m right”.

 

 

Can you see how this might be a problem?

 

 

When couples take this approach, it just never works.

 

Hence, we have to ask ourselves the question:

 

“Do we want to be right or do we want to be in love?”

 

Seriously…which one do you want?

 

This requires you to be brutally honest with yourself because when we are, we recognise that there is a strange sort of pleasure that we get from sticking to our guns!

 

We feel certain and angry and frustrated which are often better and more powerful emotions than depression and sadness.

 

 

It’s time to step into love

 

 

The only real way to transform a relationship or marriage is to step into the realm of love.

 

Love has an incredible healing force.

 

Because it is our essential nature and when we truly connect in with that love, we are able to give and serve in a way that is fulfilling for all involved.

 

The best part as well is that when it’s pure, it comes from a place of abundance rather than from a place of deficit.

 

This is why so many people who end up giving and giving feel frustrated and hurt…

 

Because they give from a place of deficit.

 

Love from your heart.  Feel the love in your heart and let that be your foundation for giving to your man.

Then from that place, you will know very quickly the direction the relationship/marriage needs to go in.

 

Love is the ultimate healer.

 

And it exists within you in every moment.

 

All you need to do is tap into it!