20% of husbands ultimately cheat on their wives.
That amounts to millions of husbands behaving unfaithfully to their wives.
It can make you lose hope in romance and the institution of marriage.
I say this not to put you down but to help you know that a possible cheating husband isn’t a problem that you face alone. It’s not unique to you and certainly not your fault.
It’s a risk that everyone faces when they enter into a monogamous marriage.
Right now, you don’t know if your husband is cheating. You’re suspicious but aren’t certain.
Your brain is probably running wild with fantasies of his infidelity as you struggle to concentrate at work, at home, and are feeling more anxiety than ever.
As humans, we crave certainty and requited affection. We yearn to know that the person we share our bed with loves us back.
This is why you’ve got your nose to the ground and are looking for signs your husband is cheating on you.
Let’s identify the signs and help you move forward but detailing the signs he may be cheating.
Not every cheating husband acts the same way.
Understand that just because one of these signs resonates with you don’t mean he’s cheating. A number of signs taken together however may indicate he’s cheating.
First, let’s start with the more obvious signs your husband is cheating.
If you gave someone the choice of opposable thumbs or their phones, they’d probably go with the latter.
They’re an integral part of every human’s life. It’s natural that he always has his phone with him, but does he go to extra lengths to keep his phone away from you?
We all know how some people can get with their phones. They’re expensive and the most important item many of us own. It makes sense that he doesn’t like to share.
But there’s a line that some people cross where being protective turns into something manic.
Ask to use his phone and see how he reacts.
He works well into the night, sometimes on the weekend, is always taking vacations, but someone it doesn’t add up.
For his position it just doesn’t make sense that he would work this much.
Nor does it make sense that he smells the way he does, is as happy as he is, and isn’t bringing in as much money as you’d expect.
A husband working long hours isn’t immediately a red flag. Certainly, it’s annoying you can’t spend as much time with him but it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s cheating.
There are other signs within this sign that are worth examining.
For example, does he…
Working late more often than usual doesn’t mean he’s cheating. However, if you’ve noticed more than a couple of the aforementioned signs, you might be right in suspecting something fishy is happening.
This one sounds minor but I can tell you from personal experience is can be a sign he’s cheating.
An ex-girlfriend of mine would smile at her phone much more often than any other human I know. She wouldn’t be watching a video because there wouldn’t be sound on.
I knew she was smiling at a text she had received.
But who was sending it and why did it make her smile?
In time I discovered she was cheating.
The texts that always made her smirk came from him.
But it would have hurt a lot less had I connected the dots earlier, something I’m trying ot help you do right now.
Only you know the level of intimacy expected from your partner.
Only you know how he holds you, touches you, and kisses you.
But recently have you noticed a shift in how he treats you?
For some reason, he’s pulled back.
There could be a million reasons for this.
Maybe he’s working more than usual, has lost confidence, the relationship is shifting towards companionship, or because he’s getting his intimacy needs satisfied elsewhere.
There are two super obvious signs that something has changed.
One if that he won’t want to touch you as often as before. He doesn’t playfully flirt, kiss you as he heads to work, or initiate contact.
The other sign is that he doesn’t want to have sex as often. It’s like your sex life has dropped off a cliff.
This may be the case because he’s too tired to satisfy two women.
Again this is speculation.
However, it begs the question of why such a dramatic change in behavior has taken place.
If you two have open lines of communication, ask him why he isn’t as loving as before. Ask why he isn’t as interested in having sex.
Communicating is the absolute best way to find more clues.
We’ve gone over the obvious signs he may be cheating.
Now let’s talk about the less tell-tale signs.
Humans are an odd species.
Naturally, you’d think a cheating man would behave guiltily. That he’d be remorseful for his actions, try to hide things, and shy away from confrontation.
But ironically some men do the opposite.
They turn the tables and act as though you’re the one to blame. They take all that guilt and project it on you.
It may not seem like it but they’re hurting. He knows he did wrong and doesn’t know what to do about that guilt.
So instead he blames you. He gets angry with you, acts out, is curt, and overall much more combative than ever before. If you ask him what’s wrong (and you absolutely should) he may give you absurd responses and attempt to gaslight you.
We all get angry with our partner occasionally.
But if this becomes a pattern you may rightly suspect him of infidelity.
Don’t underestimate your intuition.
You may not be able to articulate it, but something is off. Subconsciously you know something has changed.
But what is this intuition anyways?
According to a 2008 study published in the British Journal of Psychology intuition is when “the brain draws on past experiences and external cues to make a decision, but it happens so fast that the reaction is at an unconscious level.”
People may think intuition is arbitrary – it’s not. It’s the closest we get to having superpowers.
When you trust in your gut you’re trusting your brain to process information so fast and make analytical connections that may be difficult to articulate, yet still, have merit.
Listen to your instincts.
You have a wealth of experience to draw upon. Subconsciously you know what’s considered normal and abnormal behavior.
Listen to that internal voice.
Has a switch been flipped?
Out of the blue, he’s suddenly angrier than before.
He may be acting out to put you off his scent.
He may want you to think, if he’s so angry at me, I must be doing something wrong. This internal questioning will prevent you from asking the more difficult questions.
And hey, should you ever find out he’s been cheating, he may simply blame you for his acting out.
Signs help us understand the situation, but what do you do when you have your suspicions – how do you move forward?
I know it’s not your fault.
If anything should be growing it should be him.
I agree that he may need to make a serious change if his life, but you can’t control him.
What you can control is your self-confidence and ability to not blame yourself.
You’re good enough and definitely don’t deserve to be cheated on.
Elevate your sense of self-worth, heal from within, and be confident in who you are.
Doing so will make you not only a more attractive mate but will allow you to confront a quite possibly difficult road ahead.
Elevate sense of self. Salvage or pass on.
If you don’t grow your situation won’t change. You, just like everyone else is capable of change.
That’s why I created a comprehensive healing program called the Authentic Relationship System that also teaches you how to save the marriage, how to heal, and also why men are the way they are.
I’d love to learn more about you and so if you are ready for it, let’s chat via a 1-on-1 call. We can talk about your marriage problems, why it’s functioning the way it is and and I can show you how my program is designed to help you.