You never thought the apocalypse would look like this.
It would have been easier to imagine a massive famine, WWIII, and tsunamis on both coasts than it would be to imagine your husband leaving you.
But here we are.
I say we because you’re not alone.
50% of all marriages end in divorce. I’m sure you’ve heard the stat before but it’s worth hearing again. Your situation isn’t an anomaly. Millions of women have gone through what you’ve gone through and forged a way forward.
It’s difficult to see a way through the pain, but there is a path, it just needs to be illuminated.
The path of how to get my husband to love me again is the one we’ll be walking today – you and me.
As a relationship coach, I exclusively work with women who are going through trying times.
Their relationship is on the fritz, the spark is gone, or their husband flat out doesn’t love them anymore.
I know what you’re going through.
I’ve helped many women fan the fire of romance and win back their husbands.
But it all starts with you.
Acceptance doesn’t mean being complacent with the situation and not fighting for your husband.
I’m not talking about a resigned acceptance, where you admit defeat and try to pick up the pieces of your life and move on.
The acceptance I’m talking about is a willingness to fully understand and embrace the reality of the situation.
It’s about acknowledging the bitter truth – that your husband may not love you anymore.
These words feel like a sledgehammer coming down on your heart. But if you’re going to put your heart back together, you have to accept the pain.
Refusing to accept your current plight, hinders you from choosing the right path forward.
Telling yourself an alternative narrative won’t allow you to take the most effective measures you need in order to improve your situation.
Alternative realities can lessen the pain for the moment, but in the long run are detours that take you away from your goal of drumming up the feelings your husband once had for you.
To come up with a plan to win back your husband’s affection you have to accept that right now he doesn’t love you the way he used to.
Stop resisting the truth.
Resistance prevents you from accepting and finding peace with the harrowing present.
If you’re resisting the present you’re refusing to acknowledge and deal with your emotions in a healthy manner.
Ask yourself this… have you been able to make your best decisions while at your most emotional?
If you’re answering truthfully, the answer is no.
Our emotions cloud our judgment, make us impulsive, and prevent us from making choices our future selves would be happy with.
Accepting that there’s a lack of love between you and your husband will help you make more effective and logical decisions.
Accepting the situation doesn’t mean you have to reject your emotions.
It’s natural that you might be feeling scared, jealous, and unloved.
You can’t fight these feelings and trick yourself into being happy.
Doing so serves to repress these intense feelings only for them to percolate and explode later on.
Once you’re staring these emotions face-to-face can you objectively understand the dynamic between you and your husband and figure out the best path forward.
If you don’t put the work in to heal from within, then healing your marriage becomes so much more difficult.
This may not have been the advice you wanted to hear.
Perhaps you were looking for a quick fix or trick you could play to swiftly make him fall back in love with you.
In my years of experience helping women win back their husbands’ affection, that’s not how it works.
You’re undoubtedly annoyed and saddened that he no longer feels for you the same way he once did.
The only way to remedy that is to work on yourself.
Instead of worrying about getting him to fall in love with you, fall in love with yourself instead.
Step one of how to get my husband to love me again was acceptance.
Step two is loving yourself.
As you begin to love yourself, you’ll notice profound changes. Because how we feel on the outside manifests itself for the entire world to see.
Self-love gives you more confidence, makes you more empathetic, open-minded, and more equipped to take on any problem the world throws at you.
As you begin to change, people will start to take notice.
Your family, co-workers, and friends will all notice that an internal shift has happened.
But they’re not the only ones that will take note.
Your husband will also be aware of these positive changes.
But look, you’re not doing this for him. Self-love means not having to rely on anyone for validation. Loving yourself means you don’t need a romantic partner to be whole. It means being able to love life again, regardless of the person by your side.
One of the many byproducts of self-love is that it makes you someone everyone wants to be around, including your romantic partner.
I’m in no way implying that you didn’t love yourself before this whole situation started.
I’m simply imploring you to ask yourself if there are some internal aspects of your personality that you can improve upon and if you can heal these areas?
There are two sides to every person.
The low and the high.
Our lower selves are concerned with fear, shame, blame, anger, and apathy.
Our higher selves live with love, passion, empathy, and courage.
The beauty of this binary is that we can choose which self we prefer.
Our choices, emotions, and thoughts determine whether we allow our lower or higher selves to get behind the wheel and take control.
This is incredibly difficult to do, even more so when you’re going through tough times, but it can be done.
Just ask holocaust survivor Victor Frankl.
Frankl was able to forgive his Nazi prison guards and find love and humanity in one of the worst inhumane situations in the world.
You’re now facing the same predicament Victor faced – do you want to feel angry at the world or find peace and love?
The choice is easy, but actively choosing to live with love in your heart when it’s so easy to hate couldn’t be more trying.
Happiness is a choice, but our circumstances often push us to hate. Our ego is so big and loud it’s denying us the opportunity to live healthy and loving lives.
The ego believes there’s some benefit to being sad and angry.
But the ego is emotional. There’s no benefit to be derived from hating someone.
If you follow the path laid out before you, there’s a good chance that your husband will once again fall in love with you.
But is that what you want?
Before you two reconcile, find out why he wanted to separate in the first place.
Figure out if he’ll fall out of love with you the second you two get back together.
The only way to ascertain how serious he is about getting back together is to be mindful of his behavior. If he continuously voices his reasons for wanting to reconcile and takes steps to demonstrate a genuine desire to get back together, then perhaps it’s meant to be.
The clients of mine that went on to live meaningful lives and win back their husbands were only able to do so once they left their ‘ego’ behind and started to love themselves again.
However, I realize implementing these concepts can be difficult.
It’s easier to move forward when you’ve got a partner to take that journey with you.
I’d like to take that journey with you.
Allow me to help you heal, grow, and ultimately find love again with yourself and if you choose, with your husband.
So what exactly does that journey look like?
My course uses a hybrid model of video classes, weekly group calls, and personal calls to help you get to where you want to be romantically. I know how emotions can get the best of you which is why I also am willing to give you my personal line should you feel ambushed by feelings and need someone to talk to.
My video-based curriculum includes more than 50 videos and 35 hours of training along with 60 pages of worksheets. Our group calls take place every Thursday and include women that are struggling with the same issues you’re dealing with as well.
I’d like to learn more about your relationship and the obstacles you’re facing. Let’s talk via a 1-on-1 call. During this call, you’ll tell me about your romantic goals and we’ll see if I’m the right person to help you achieve them.
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