I’m going to tell you something that you’ll find difficult to hear.
This is all temporary.
I know it feels like you’re drowning in quicksand but this too shall pass.
This isn’t just some platitude that has been recycled to the point of losing all meaning. Rather, I speak from experience.
I spend my days helping women just like you pull themselves up from the hole they’re in and move forward, baby step by baby step. I can name countless women that have gone through exactly what you’re experiencing.
They too have been told by their husbands that their time has expired.
But they have shouldered through the storm and made it through the other side – same as you will.
There is reason to believe that transformation and a better day are around the corner because guess what, I’ve peeked around your corner, and it’s a hell of a lot sunnier than today is.
Spoiler: things get better.
It feels like an emotional atomic bomb just went off.
Those rose-colored glasses are now tinted grey and you can’t seem to be able to take them off. This is by far the most difficult part of your journey forward (which whether you know it or not has already started).
My heart goes out to you because right now I know it feels like your entire life is being uprooted. It’s difficult to see a way forward but I swear there is. You’re thinking, my husband wants to leave me and whether or not this will happen life’s become a lot more difficult to manage.
That’s why I’m going to help you put one foot in front of the other by giving you three steps to take to begin to move forward.
You can’t move forward if you don’t have a plan.
You know where you want to go but not how to get there. Instead of using trial and error until the spaghetti sticks to the wall, let’s set you on course to take a shortcut.
I know what it takes to feel better and improve your romantic situation. I have a tried and true blueprint that many women before you have used to sail through the storm.
The thing is, many women choose to sail through the storm without the proper equipment or heading. They ditch the life preservers, only bring one tube of sunscreen, and always forget to put enough gas in the tank for when they hit the doldrums.
Sailing analogies aside, you need an actionable plan.
It’s easy to charge headfirst into the situation and think that if you try really hard everything will be better. That if you just sit down and talk with him, pour all your energy into pleasing him, work out more, spend more time together, and go on a vacation it’ll all be better.
Naturally, you’ll want to do this, but it’s not always the best way to go about it.
The reality is that the only person you can control is yourself.
Turn your attention inwards and focus on yourself.
Now I know how this can make you feel. You’re probably thinking, what about him? He cheated, he stopped investing, he wants to leave, why do I have to change?
Investing in you is the best possible thing you can do.
The more you grow and empower yourself the better your decisions surrounding how to move forward with your relationships will become.
Let’s explore what self-investment looks like.
Again, I understand putting the onus on you can be a difficult path to follow.
It’s certainly not an easy one, but it’s the one that will pay off in the long run.
He says – or you feel – that he wants to leave you.
Immediately you’ll create this narrative that the world is ending. That your life is now over, things will never get better, and every other horrible worst-case scenario you let your brain think up. But that’s just one perspective.
Another perspective is that destruction creates space for growth. When a massive redwood that is soaking up all the light in a forest is struck by lightning, that sun that it had once selfishly soaked up is now shining on new foliage, making it possible for other things to grow in its place.
The truth is perhaps thinking my husband wants to leave me could be the catalyst you need to change your life for the better.
Often I’ll talk to women who have been told by their husbands that they want to leave. After discussing the situation with me and contemplating their plight they often realize that there were issues just under the surface that had been percolating for a while.
Ask yourself if your marriage is perfect. Be honest and acknowledge issues caused by your husband that you’re unhappy with. Maybe he’s distant, works too much, has slept around, hasn’t invested in the relationship emotionally, etc.
Maybe there have been issues for a while but something recently lit the gasoline that’s been soaking your marriage. Perhaps the trajectory has been going down for a while and both sides have contributed to its downfall.
Reflection is your key to changing the narrative.
Objectively there are some negative things about your situation. Understandably it’s a nuisance that things are changing but there are always positives. Ask yourself how this can be an opportunity for growth.
Even if you change the narrative, nothing will change for good if you don’t take this next step.
Behavior revolves around the mind.
More than the tug of the sun or the moon, what really dictates how we behave is our emotional state. If we’re anxious and in fight or flight mode we’re bound to make bad decisions. We’re bound to run, scream, and fight with our partners.
To get the best result, we must change how we feel.
But changing how we feel isn’t as easy as flipping a switch or reading a positive tarot card and magically feeling better.
The good news is that there are a million ways to change your emotional state.
Here are just a few:
But if I’m being honest, these options are all emotional bandaids.
The deeper the wound the deeper you have to go in resolving it.
Sure time will heal all wounds, but not everyone is willing to wait, especially when your husband is on his way out the door.
To go deeper you’ll have to do more than read a quick article you found online.
It’s tough if not seemingly impossible to find a path forward.
When you’re scared because you can count the grains in your hourglass you can’t afford to waste time running down dead ends.
You aren’t the first woman to be in this position. On a daily basis, I speak with women just like you.
They’re afraid their marriage is ending and don’t know what to do.
I make things uncomplicated for them by guiding them through my Authentic Relationship System program to put them on a path forward.
I’ve fine-tuned the art of self-transformation. In fact I’ve created a clear-cut course that will guide you in this transformation while helping you understand why your husband has been acting the way he has.
Join myself and a support group of women who will help shepherd you to the future you deserve.
Let’s get to know more about each other via a 1-on-1 call where we’ll talk about your romantic goals and see if I can be of service.