Why Do Men PULL AWAY in a Marriage (Do Not Overlook These 3 Reasons!)

Men love to say that women are the more mysterious sex.

That you never really know what women want. In the context of a marriage, this couldn’t be more backward.

By nature, men are more reticent when expressing sensitive subjects. Men are the ones that struggle to put their emotions into words – not women.

It’s this struggle to name how they feel that is driving you crazy right now.

Your husband has been pulling away in a marriage and you’re left wondering why. Instead of telling you how he feels he deflects and even flees from conversation. Then you’re left trying to connect the dots.

So no, women aren’t the more mysterious sex of the two.

Because of his taciturn nature you’re wondering how to react.

Should you corner him and squeeze the truth out of him, shower him with love, back off, or provide acts of love and service?

I know what’s racing through your head right now because many women have also wondered why do men pull away in a marriage. Trust me – and the dozens of women in my program – this situation isn’t unique to you.

Why Do Men Pull Away In A Marriage

Before we dive into the three main reasons why men pull away in a marriage I’d like to talk about a clash that takes place in nearly every relationship.

In nearly every marriage there is a feminine and masculine energy.

The energy is not tied to gender although it often works out this way.

These energies have fundamental differences that can at times create friction in the relationship.

Feminine energy for example is motivated by love. So even when there are problems in a marriage, this person is still pursuing love. When they experience love they feel satisfied and full. On the flip side, masculine energy is driven by freedom. 

So here you have a situation when a relationship is falling apart you have one party pushing for love. However, the masculine party is running away as they try to achieve freedom.

These fundamental drives must be understood and addressed if you’re to successfully fix your marriage.

Reason 1) Control

No one wants to be controlled – especially an adult with their own desires and aspirations.

I see some women control their men due to fear. Fear that they’ll stray, invest in a hobby or project that takes them away from the family unit, or simply fear that they’ll become bored in the relationship.

To ensure this doesn’t happen and that she receives the love and affection she demands, some women will attempt to control their spouse.

As a result, he’ll feel stunted, belittled, and domesticated.

I’d like to add that this isn’t your fault. I’m not blaming for you controlling your husband more than he wants (if that even is the case). In my experience, my female clients will do this because their men aren’t holding up their ends of the bargain. They themselves do not feel satisfied, because their husbands aren’t stepping up.

Men often fail to step up to meet their partner’s needs, address them, and hear you out. It’s not your fault for trying to get your needs met. 

However, from a male perspective, he yearns for freedom. This desire is a priority and he’ll seek to achieve it even if it’s the detriment of your relationship.

Remedy this by giving that leash a bit more slack.

Hear him out and even support his desire to pursue new hobbies. Loosen the control a bit and see how the relationship changes.

2) Criticism

No one likes being heavily criticized.

Whether it’s at work or at home, no man, woman, or child likes this.

Maybe he’s feeling critique from you, social pressures, or himself. Perhaps he feels like you’re critiquing him for not doing enough domestic chores or bringing in enough money.

Perhaps it’s wholly unfair that he feels this way and as a result has withdrawn. He may be reading critique in your eyes even if you’re not judging him negatively.

Whether imagined or not this critique has a massive impact on how he feels.

Again, I’m not trying to downplay your feelings. Maybe you’re right in saying the things you say. I’m merely trying to give you insight into how he feels. Insight that perhaps you haven’t been privy to recently.

The better you understand where he’s coming from, the better your odds of improving your marriage.

When men feel emasculated he feels like a failure. 

Having been there before it’s a horrible place.

Your whole perception of yourself changes. He may even be looking at you partner and thinking, why does she even want to be with me?

If he feels lesser, make out ways to make him feel special. 

Help him feel significant even if he’s failing in other areas of life. If you make him believe you’re his biggest man, he’ll love you for it.

3) Heaviness

Have you ever walked into a room before and just felt like you were in a toxic environment? Like no one wanted to be there? For example the DMV.

No one is happy, they all want to get out of there ASAP, and god forbid if they miss their number they’ll drive straight into the building.

That’s the kind of heaviness I’m talking about. It’s the kind of heavy that weighs so heavy that it stamps out any smiles or joy from taking place.

You may be living in a heavy environment without even knowing it.

Men struggle with heavy. They struggle with doom and gloom. It’s difficult for both masculine and feminine energies to deal with this environment but when men are faced with this situation they try to flee.

If you’re wondering why do men pull away in a marriage, this is a big reason why.

I’m not saying you’re creating a heavy environment. What I am saying is that you must work to create a positive and happy atmosphere. Observe how you come across. Think about how you talk to your husband and your habits.

This isn’t about blaming yourself but rather becoming the best version of yourself.

If you find that you have a heavy energy you can work on this.

Spend time doing things that bring you joy, and be happier.

Find happiness in little moments.

Look you might be thinking, well shouldn’t he be the one investing more in happiness and trying to change the atmosphere?

The answer is yes, 1000%.

The thing is, you can’t make him change. You are the master of your domain and yours alone. You can work to be happy but can’t force anyone else to do so. You can work to create a better environment at home. What you can’t do is somehow force him to be a certain way.

Only after a better environment has been created can you start to have more intimate and sensitive conversations.

Part of creating a better environment has to do with picking and choosing when to discuss certain negative topics with him. Examine when you bring up certain topics and how.

Do you bombard him with to-do lists as soon as he gets home?

Do you make certain requests that sound like immediate demands?

Examine how you communicate with him.

Internal Work

Ultimately the only thing you can do is control your own behavior and work on yourself.

Internal work is vital in repairing your marriage. Looking inwards and asking the tough questions can only serve to improve yourself and your marriage.

Observe your patterns to better understand how you’re showing up in a marriage.

Next Steps

All this can be a bit abstract.

Sometimes choosing the right path to rebuild your marriage can feel more difficult than finding the Holy Grail.

I’ve created a roadmap for women just like you.

You’re not the first woman that has come to me wanting to improve her marriage. I’ve created a detailed, granular, step-by-step program that will give you the skills you need to create the marriage and life you deserve.

Let’s talk 1-on-1 about the dynamic of your marriage and how my program can help you achieve the romantic results you’re looking for.